My love: learn from my mistakes. Do not love a boy who sounds like waves breaking inside of your heart, do not love the sudden storm. Later in the night, the wild will fade and your boat will no longer feel like home but instead like a wreck on the ocean floor. You will be made seasick by his constant tossing and turning, by the stains he leaves on your bed and the smell he leaves on your clothing. Do not love a boy who is going to rip you into splinters, do not love anyone who would take your grand navy and drown it. Learn from the places I have been buried under the sand, learn from my pieces scattered across this world, learn from the hurt I carry around like tar between my wood - do not love someone who would hurt you if they could.
So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.
Every mouth you’ve ever kissed was just practice. All the bodies you’ve ever undressed and ploughed in to were preparing you for me. I don’t mind tasting them in the memory of your mouth.
Was it a long journey? Did it take you long to find me?
You’re here now, welcome home.
Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love.
I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. That pain is like an axe that chops at my heart.